Yesterday, I finished reading the book, Attached, by Amir Levine MD and Rachel SF Heller M.A. I've come to the realization I have the rare combination (3-5% of the population according to the book) of Anxious-Avoidant attachment style. Interestingly enough, I believe my husband had the same attachment style. Lucky Us. I truly want connection... Continue Reading →
This week I've been on Momcation. My kids have been at their grandparents' house for Spring Break. In the past I enjoyed Momcations. My husband was still alive, and it gave us time to do things as a couple without the normal parental distractions. After about 3 days, I get really lonely; Momcations are not... Continue Reading →
At the start of the 'Pandemic times' the news constantly spoke about adjusting to a "new normal." Other than my kids being home from school and being unable to go out socially, I really didn’t notice much of a difference. I had been a stay-at-home mom for years. We had put in a pool the... Continue Reading →
Anxiety fucking blows. My anxiety is in overdrive right now. I put myself out there with someone and I feel like I am in a constant state of fight or flight. My muscles are tense, my stomach is in knots; I don't want to eat, my heart is beating faster, not racing, just faster. I... Continue Reading →
As a person with depression I tend to fall into a spiral where I ruminate on all my flaws. I cover my insecurities with self-deprecation and humor. I never want to come across as conceited so I tend to swing the pendulum to the other side and point out all of my self-perceived flaws. When... Continue Reading →
Ahhh... the age old question, “What came first, the chicken or the egg?” Only in my case it’s, “What came first, the depression or the extreme fatigue?” In my “early days” I could confidently say it was the depression. However, as I have gotten older and my depression episodes have gotten longer and longer I... Continue Reading →
I am easily... easily... easily....... distracted. I’ve been a daydreamer since I was a child. I had a hard time maintaining focus in school, especially when I found something boring. This is normal. I’d guess most people have difficulty maintaining 100% focus when they are bored by a subject. These days my lack of, or... Continue Reading →
I have the mehs. Or, is a case of the mehs? Either way, I feel meh. Lately, I am 100% completely unmotivated to do anything. Okay, 100% may be a bit of hyperbole but nevertheless, I feel meh. I have been wandering around my house trying to focus my energies on something, but I just... Continue Reading →
Depression isn’t an emotion. Depression does not equal sadness. Sadness is a fleeting emotion. When depression has really taken hold, I’m empty. I feel nothing. I’m a shell. I watch everything go by. I do the things I’m supposed to do, ones I’ve built a routine around, but I’m detached. It’s robotic. I do it... Continue Reading →
I go through phases of keeping of food log. I usually start one when I feel like my eating habits have gotten unruly. It's a way to reign myself back in. I started my current food log back in May. I'd gone over a year without keeping a log. Due to COVID, like many folks,... Continue Reading →
Lost in Resolute Reverie 