I have the mehs. Or, is a case of the mehs? Either way, I feel meh. Lately, I am 100% completely unmotivated to do anything. Okay, 100% may be a bit of hyperbole but nevertheless, I feel meh. I have been wandering around my house trying to focus my energies on something, but I just … More MEH
Depression isn’t an emotion. Depression does not equal sadness. Sadness is a fleeting emotion. When depression has really taken hold, I’m empty. I feel nothing. I’m a shell. I watch everything go by. I do the things I’m supposed to do, ones I’ve built a routine around, but I’m detached. It’s robotic. I do it … More Empty
I go through phases of keeping of food log. I usually start one when I feel like my eating habits have gotten unruly. It’s a way to reign myself back in. I started my current food log back in May. I’d gone over a year without keeping a log. Due to COVID, like many folks, … More My Control Delusion
It takes time to heal all wounds. It doesn’t matter if the wound is physical, emotional, or mental. A wound is a wound. If it causes pain, distress, or discomfort, it’s a wound. Everyone is different and experiences emotional and mental pain differently. A situation that may bother one person, may not bother another. This … More The Healing Powers of Time & Distance
The relationship I have with food is toxic. It’s a love/hate relationship. I love food, but I hate when I succumb to it. It’s wild to think that an inanimate substance meant to provide me with nourishment can fuck with my psyche the way it does. I can’t fully blame food, it’s not all its … More Just Eat It…Then, Purge It
When I was about thirteen-years-old I started reading The Last Vampire book series by Christopher Pike. It’s basically a rite of passage for adolescent teen girls to read books about vampires. This series preceded Twilight and is nothing like it. The protagonist of the series is actually a female vampire. She’s 5000 years old and … More Freedom from the Fruit
About a month ago, I started making a list of things I like about myself. I stayed away from physical attributes and focused more on personality or other intrinsic aspects. The list originally had 12 items. I was pleasantly surprised there were that many. Since then, I have added two more. Due to having Major … More Self-Confidence is not a Four Letter Word
Once upon a time, I wrote a poem. This time was August 20, 2018. Cellulite on my thighs Stretch marks on my ass Acne scars on my back and face Wrinkles around my eyes, smile, and forehead Stained teeth from coffee and tea A lazy left eye Booty isn’t round enough Booty isn’t big enough … More Insecurities
I eat too much. I drink too much. I ruminate too much. I’m depressed too much. I’m too much. As an introverted and 75% antisocial person. This whole stay-at-home thing is not really a problem for me. Well… it’s a problem in that I often times force myself to go out and be social so … More Too Much Muchness
I am indecisive. It’s the anxiety. I wasn’t always this way. I used to make decisions. I have lost confidence in my ability to make decisions. I think access to the internet, and so many opinions and reviews, has made it difficult for me to make a decision. I’ll see the high rating, and then … More Anxious and Indecisive
