People Come & People Go

Troubles, they may come and go, but good times they're the gold. Steady as We Go - Dave Matthews Band I've been thinking about this lyric this morning, but instead of "troubles" I kept thinking "people". Some people enter our lives with such positivity that we cannot imagine they will ever leave our lives so abruptly... Continue Reading →

Play Me Like a Fiddle

I am a firm believer in a woman never "asks for it." It doesn't matter her occupation, her manner of dress, or her behavior, if a woman is sexually assaulted it's not her fault. Period. End of story. As someone who feels so strongly about this, why do I blame myself when I get emotionally... Continue Reading →

Anxiety Spiral

Anxiety fucking blows. My anxiety is in overdrive right now. I put myself out there with someone and I feel like I am in a constant state of fight or flight. My muscles are tense, my stomach is in knots; I don't want to eat, my heart is beating faster, not racing, just faster. I... Continue Reading →

The Good Stuff

It wasn't perfect. Not even close, but it was ours and I miss it everyday.  Especially the good stuff.  I miss: The way he'd massage my back. Usually because he wanted sex, but sometimes just because he wanted to. Falling asleep with my leg touching his. His body heat, especially in the winter. The way he'd... Continue Reading →

Dating After Loss

Dating after loss is weird. It's nothing like the dating I did during open marriage time and separation phase. Probably because I was still attached to my husband and didn't take it seriously. This "real" dating is just fucking weird.  When I first made an effort to start dating, I went in it with a... Continue Reading →

Actions > Words

After all the heartache I have experienced I can be thankful for one thing, I know what I am and am not willing to put up with. Through all the good and bad parts of my marriage, through all the dates I went on during my "open" marriage, separation, and dating after my husband's death,... Continue Reading →

Red Flags Part Deux

Now that I am forced to date again, here is another list of personally observed red flags! Tries to get you to have sex with him in a coffee shop parking lot on a street bustling with nightlife. Texts, "Let's fuck," after 5 message exchanges. After he ends your "whatever it the fuck it was"... Continue Reading →

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