I have the mehs. Or, is a case of the mehs? Either way, I feel meh. Lately, I am 100% completely unmotivated to do anything. Okay, 100% may be a bit of hyperbole but nevertheless, I feel meh. I have been wandering around my house trying to focus my energies on something, but I just... Continue Reading →
Empty
Depression isn’t an emotion. Depression does not equal sadness. Sadness is a fleeting emotion. When depression has really taken hold, I’m empty. I feel nothing. I’m a shell. I watch everything go by. I do the things I’m supposed to do, ones I’ve built a routine around, but I’m detached. It’s robotic. I do it... Continue Reading →
Just Eat It…Then, Purge It
The relationship I have with food is toxic. It's a love/hate relationship. I love food, but I hate when I succumb to it. It's wild to think that an inanimate substance meant to provide me with nourishment can fuck with my psyche the way it does. I can't fully blame food, it's not all its... Continue Reading →
It’s My Body, I’ll be Semi-Nude if I Want to
Recently, I looked through my instagram feed, and I noticed a large majority of my posts are me in either a bikini or underwear. On the surface, some may perceive this as vanity. I'm sure some folks will even assume I'm a whore, slut, hoe, etc. I've had many guys ask me if I have... Continue Reading →
Freedom from the Fruit
When I was about thirteen-years-old I started reading The Last Vampire book series by Christopher Pike. It's basically a rite of passage for adolescent teen girls to read books about vampires. This series preceded Twilight and is nothing like it. The protagonist of the series is actually a female vampire. She's 5000 years old and... Continue Reading →
Self-Confidence is not a Four Letter Word
About a month ago, I started making a list of things I like about myself. I stayed away from physical attributes and focused more on personality or other intrinsic aspects. The list originally had 12 items. I was pleasantly surprised there were that many. Since then, I have added two more. Due to having Major... Continue Reading →
The Lies We Tell Ourselves
I am a liar. So, are you. In the words of famed TV doctor, Gregory House, “Everybody lies.” It’s the lies that we tell ourselves that I feel can be most harmful. I tell myself I am okay when I am not. It’s a coping mechanism to get me through the day. It’s a helpful,... Continue Reading →
Insecurities
Once upon a time, I wrote a poem. This time was August 20, 2018. Cellulite on my thighs Stretch marks on my ass Acne scars on my back and face Wrinkles around my eyes, smile, and forehead Stained teeth from coffee and tea A lazy left eye Booty isn't round enough Booty isn't big enough... Continue Reading →
Too Much Muchness
I eat too much. I drink too much. I ruminate too much. I'm depressed too much. I'm too much. As an introverted and 75% antisocial person. This whole stay-at-home thing is not really a problem for me. Well... it's a problem in that I often times force myself to go out and be social so... Continue Reading →