The Prude, The Tease, and The Slut

The prude: a woman who is considered to be nonsexual, or easily offended by anything sexual.  The tease: a woman who is sexually provocative, however, doesn’t “put out.” The slut: a woman who may, or may not, be sexually provocative, and “puts out.” All of these terms tend to have negative connotations to them.  If you’re too uptight about sex, then you’re a prude.  If you’re sexually provocative and don’t use your sexuality to please a man when he has been turned on by you, then you’re a tease. If you have sex with whomever you please, whenever you please, well hello, and welcome to Slutsville.  I have been called a tease and a slut.  When I was in college I thought being a tease was worse, because at least I was “putting out.” I was backing up what I was putting out there.  The thing is none of these terms are bad; these terms are actually misnomers.  What we should be called is women. Free-thinking, free-feeling, free-living women.  We are allowed to project whatever image we please, and then act in the complete opposite of that image if we so choose.

Lets take the tease, for example. The tease dresses sexy.  She says sexy things.  She moves her body in a way that turns men on.  She does it on purpose.  The tease doesn’t let a man touch her unless she wants the man to touch her.  She doesn’t let the man have his way with her.  She has her way with him, and that way is ignoring, or turning down, his advances.  There isn’t anything wrong with this. However, we have been taught that there is.  Oh, you’re wearing a revealing dress.  Your breasts are out, and the dress is short.  This means you must want men to touch. No, in fact, it doesn’t.  Wearing sexy clothing makes the tease feel sexy and sensual.  It allows her to be in touch with what makes her feminine and desirable.  She does this for herself.  Occasionally the tease will give a man what he wants, but ultimately, it’s what she wants, because she is the master of her own body.  If she wants to sleep with a man, she will.  If she does not want to sleep with a man, she won’t.  She has made no promises with her dress, and even if she makes promises with her words, she is free to break those promises, as it is her right to do so.

The slut enjoys men.  She enjoys the pleasure she can receive from them.  She likes variety.  One man will not do.  She wants to enjoy men, as there is such variety in them.  She can be sexually provocative like the tease, or she may seem modest on the surface, like a prude.  The slut is often shamed for her promiscuity, although her male counterparts rarely are.  Men can sleep with a multitude of women, and no one really bats an eye, but when a woman does it, those that surround her are quick to judge and label her with a negative title.  Slut. Whore. Loose Woman.

The prude is an interesting phenomenon.  She is often painted in a negative light.  “Why is she so uptight?  It’s just sex.  She should loosen up,” yet she is the opposite of a slut.  So damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.  Some women aren’t interested in sex because they may be uncomfortable in their own body, or they have had previous sexual trauma, or has had such a strict moral, patriarchal code, ingrained and indoctrinated in her, her inner slut is buried deep and hiding. Or, she may not even have one at all. Maybe sex just isn’t that important to her.  Maybe she is just waiting for the right man to come along, and she will be his slut. His “freak in the sheets.” Whatever the case may be she looks uptight, and she isn’t putting out, something must be wrong with her! According to certain individuals that is.

It’s infuriating being a woman, and constantly being painted in broad strokes and often thrown into one of these three categories.  When in reality we are all of these things, and none of these things at the same time.  None of these labels are bad.  Women are human beings.  We can have sex if we want.  We can turn a man on, and turn him down if we want.  We can say we are uncomfortable with the sexually explicit things a man is saying to us.  We can be the slut.  We can be the tease.  We can be the prude.  It is our right to do with our bodies what we will.  We do not have to have sex with a man because we indicated we would.  That doesn’t make us a tease.  We can dress in modest clothing.  That doesn’t make us a prude. We can fuck every man who has ever taken us out on a date.  That doesn’t make us a slut.

I have slept with many man.  I have posted provocative photos, or acted in a provocative manner, and ignored, or turned down, a man’s advances.  I have been uncomfortable with sexually explicit things a man has said to me (he called me a bitch, not a prude, but still). I have been all of these women.  I am a proud Slut. I am proud Tease.  I am a proud Prude. I am a free-thinking, free-feeling, free-living woman! As women it is our duty to support one another, not shame one another.  We need to be united, and that is what I plan to do from this day forward.  No more shaming a woman for living her life they way she deems fit. It is truly time to embrace Women Power, and create a Matriarchal World Culture.

 


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