Yesterday, I finished reading the book, Attached, by Amir Levine MD and Rachel SF Heller M.A. I've come to the realization I have the rare combination (3-5% of the population according to the book) of Anxious-Avoidant attachment style. Interestingly enough, I believe my husband had the same attachment style. Lucky Us. I truly want connection... Continue Reading →
Do I Like Him or Is He Just Hot?
Relationships between people (friends, family, romantic) who claim to care about one another are not meant to be transactional. There is no you scratch my back, I scratch yours. That's business. Business isn't about the human experience. If you're doing something for a person you "care" about with the expectation of something in return (no... Continue Reading →
Just Show Up
This week I've been on Momcation. My kids have been at their grandparents' house for Spring Break. In the past I enjoyed Momcations. My husband was still alive, and it gave us time to do things as a couple without the normal parental distractions. After about 3 days, I get really lonely; Momcations are not... Continue Reading →
I began taking improv classes at Push Comedy Theater at the end June of 2018 during my separation. About a week into classes my husband and I decided he would be moving back in on Labor Day but until then would continue living our lives as separated. I'd already become hooked on the culture and... Continue Reading →
Truth be Told
Truth be told, I am angry as fuck that my husband died. Scratch that, he didn't die, he was killed. He was killed by some dumb fucking cunt that couldn't be bothered to look both ways. Apparently, the baby shower she was already late to was more important than making sure she didn't kill anyone.... Continue Reading →
New Normal? Or, Just Plain Abnormal?
At the start of the 'Pandemic times' the news constantly spoke about adjusting to a "new normal." Other than my kids being home from school and being unable to go out socially, I really didn’t notice much of a difference. I had been a stay-at-home mom for years. We had put in a pool the... Continue Reading →
People Come & People Go
Troubles, they may come and go, but good times they're the gold. Steady as We Go - Dave Matthews Band I've been thinking about this lyric this morning, but instead of "troubles" I kept thinking "people". Some people enter our lives with such positivity that we cannot imagine they will ever leave our lives so abruptly... Continue Reading →
Play Me Like a Fiddle
I am a firm believer in a woman never "asks for it." It doesn't matter her occupation, her manner of dress, or her behavior, if a woman is sexually assaulted it's not her fault. Period. End of story. As someone who feels so strongly about this, why do I blame myself when I get emotionally... Continue Reading →
Anxiety fucking blows. My anxiety is in overdrive right now. I put myself out there with someone and I feel like I am in a constant state of fight or flight. My muscles are tense, my stomach is in knots; I don't want to eat, my heart is beating faster, not racing, just faster. I... Continue Reading →
I never thought the year I turned 40, I would have to eulogize my husband. How do you write a eulogy for someone so young? He was only 42. I tried to remain as authentic as possible. I also had to keep it proper for the public. It was a difficult balance. I met Gregg... Continue Reading →