Red Flags

A small but personally observed list of relationship and dating “red flags.”

  1. When a guy you’ve gone out with a handful of times starts sending you videos from Prager U.
  2. When a man says he’s “confused” about his feelings for you after spending months convincing you of those feelings.
  3. When the person you are dating brags about how many sexual partners they’ve had and how they’ve cheated on everyone they’ve ever dated.
  4. When a guy calls you a “cock blocker” because you won’t let your very drunk, nearly passed out, friend go home with him.
  5. When you’re on a date at a bar and the person you are with sends their highly common mixed drink back because “it wasn’t made right,” and is rude to the waitstaff while doing so. Then, tops it off by nearly starting a fight with the bartender.
  6. When you’re on a date and the guy can’t understand why a woman wouldn’t report rape or sexual assault right away and starts mockingly saying, “Me too. Me too.”
  7. When the guy you’re hooking up with can’t get it up (or keep it up) on the first night (or the second night, the third night, and so on).
  8. When your date walks you to your car at the end of the night on a 30° evening in December and gets in the passenger side of your vehicle, uninvited, and asks to “eat your pussy,” while simultaneously leaning over and fucking up your perfectly set driver’s seat. And, after you politely decline they ask if they can finger you (again, you decline), and then finish off their requests with “can you suck my dick?”
  9. When the person you are casually dating tells you they are, “Falling for you,” but when you don’t reciprocate tells you 30 minutes later, “Oh, when I said I was falling for you, I didn’t mean it, I was just drunk.”
  10. When someone you’re seeing asks if you like a particular musician and that musician dies that very night, Jesus himself could not have sent you a better omen.

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