I am in my head today. I have convinced myself my boyfriend hates me. In my head I believe he feels I am too complicated, too much, and too (whatever else comes to mind). I am sure he will break-up with me any minute. I am in my head today. I have convinced myself my... Continue Reading →
Non-Toxic Masculinity: An Example
I'd like to get one thing straight, I don't 'hate' or 'disklike' men. In fact, I love them. I think men, as a whole, are pretty awesome. I was married for 18 years (together almost 20). I have a great relationship with my dad. I am a self-described, 'Daddy's girl.' My dad is the stepfather... Continue Reading →
I Want You; I Don’t Need You
I might want a man (at times) but I sure as FUCK do not need one. The more I attempt to date, the more I realize emotionally immature, insecure men are the ones who desire to be needed in a relationship. They have the need for a woman to be financially dependent on him. Men... Continue Reading →
GRIEF: Will it always be this way?
I'm approaching the 2nd anniversary of my husband's death, and I thought I would feel different than I currently do. I thought I would feel slightly more healed. I thought I would have my shit together (which is ridiculous because I've never really had my shit together). The kids and I moved into a new... Continue Reading →
Use Your Words
If you have something to say to me, use your words. I am not in the mood to decipher nuanced bullshit and innuendos anymore. If you want to roll into my DMs at 1:39am saying, "we should talk," then fucking talk. Use your big boy words. I am not into the middle of the night... Continue Reading →
Do I Like Him or Is He Just Hot?
Relationships between people (friends, family, romantic) who claim to care about one another are not meant to be transactional. There is no you scratch my back, I scratch yours. That's business. Business isn't about the human experience. If you're doing something for a person you "care" about with the expectation of something in return (no... Continue Reading →
Just Show Up
This week I've been on Momcation. My kids have been at their grandparents' house for Spring Break. In the past I enjoyed Momcations. My husband was still alive, and it gave us time to do things as a couple without the normal parental distractions. After about 3 days, I get really lonely; Momcations are not... Continue Reading →
Shifting Boundaries?
I began taking improv classes at Push Comedy Theater at the end June of 2018 during my separation. About a week into classes my husband and I decided he would be moving back in on Labor Day but until then would continue living our lives as separated. I'd already become hooked on the culture and... Continue Reading →
Truth be Told
Truth be told, I am angry as fuck that my husband died. Scratch that, he didn't die, he was killed. He was killed by some dumb fucking cunt that couldn't be bothered to look both ways. Apparently, the baby shower she was already late to was more important than making sure she didn't kill anyone.... Continue Reading →
New Normal? Or, Just Plain Abnormal?
At the start of the 'Pandemic times' the news constantly spoke about adjusting to a "new normal." Other than my kids being home from school and being unable to go out socially, I really didn’t notice much of a difference. I had been a stay-at-home mom for years. We had put in a pool the... Continue Reading →