If you have something to say to me, use your words. I am not in the mood to decipher nuanced bullshit and innuendos anymore. If you want to roll into my DMs at 1:39am saying, “we should talk,” then fucking talk. Use your big boy words. I am not into the middle of the night fuckboy fuckery anymore. I am tired.
If you want to flirt with me fine. I will flirt back, if I feel inclined to do so. However, that is all it will be. If you are trying to figure out how I feel about you from flirting? Don’t. Just use your words. I’m not going to assume shit. I am not going to over think any of it. Been there, done that. You have something to say to me? Say it. You want to know how I feel, then ask.
Lately, I’ve gotten pretty good at meaning what I say and saying what I mean. I’ve always been decent at it, but lately, I’ve become hella good. If I say, “I like you,” that is exactly what I mean. Nothing more. Nothing less. If I tell you, I want to get to know you, that is what I mean. That’s it. I can like you and want to know more about you without any expectation of what may happen in the future, but I damn sure know that in the present moment, that is where I am at.
I am learning to ask instead of just taking hints and assuming. I get the feeling you’re not interested? I will ask. It is up to you to tell the truth. If you tell me you like me, or are interested in me, and I don’t reciprocate the sentiment, it’s because I don’t or I am not yet sure. I use my fucking words.
If I respond to your, “I love you,” with an, “I love you, too,” then that means I love you. That’s it. Period. It doesn’t mean I want anything from you. It’s how I feel. That is it. I rarely say, “I love you, in romantic relationships.” I don’t throw those words around. If I tell you I care about you, it’s because I do. I care about you as a human. I care about you as a friend. I worry about your well-being. This does not mean I love you and want a relationship with you; it simply means I think you are a good human and I don’t want you in pain. I’ll do what I can to help you through whatever you are going through in whatever capacity I am able to.
Life is too messy and complicated to over analyze every little thing. It’s easier and more succinct to just say what you mean. Ask questions if you want to know what is going on in your relationships, friendships, and involvements.
I take what people (men, in particular) say to me at face value. If you refer to me as a friend, then I will take that as how you view me. I will stay within those boundaries. Attempting to decipher the thoughts and feelings of another human being is futile. You’re not going to get anywhere. If I am at the point of where I begin to realize I am not asking because I am scared of rejection, then I realize I am chasing a feeling. I disengage.
Several months ago, I asked a man what his intentions were with me. It took me a hot minute to ask the question, because I felt like I knew the answer, but I asked anyway. I didn’t want to chase a feeling. I needed things to either move forward or end. Since then, it has become easier to ask the question. I am learning to become untied to the outcome of any involvement with a man. If I ask, “what do you want from me,” and your only response is, “you,” I am disengaging. I am not going to play 20 questions to get to the bottom of your feelings or intentions. I am not your therapist. If you have something to say to me, USE YOUR WORDS!
This blog post was mostly speaking in generalities, however, if you feel you were targeted maybe this is your sign to seek inner reflection and wonder… why did this seem to be about me?
Lost in Resolute Reverie 
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